Hey.
Name's Jake Timber.
But won't lie to you. I'll leave that to the Democrats.
I go by "Jake Timber" but that's not my name. My real one? You ain't getting it.
I'm a man of action. A soldier from the future. About fifteen years or so from now. Yeah yeah, screw you. I'm not going to tell you how I traveled through time. Keeping that one close to the vest, you know what I mean? So save the henpecking questions. Anyway, I'm here to stop a lot of bad things from happening. My time as a soldier has taught me that the best way to fight a war is to stop it before it can start.
In my future, the future I want to prevent, the United States of America is in a bad way. I mean real bad. We're a basically a dictatorship, set up to supposably "protect us" from "terrorism." Yeah. That's great. If you want your every email read, your phone calls listened to, and cameras watching your every move.
Think it can't happen? Ha. You're funny. Pretty damn naive too. Over in Camden, UK, the town tried installing cameras in a community park that would photograph anyone in the public space. Who knows what kind of charges they could trump up against you? Then we got the good ol' NSA. If Verizon is your carrier, the NSA has recorded every phone call you've ever made. They know who you called, when you called, how long you talked, the whole schmeer. And do you really think they'd stop with one cell carrier. Probably have a whole file on how you live.
"Live." That's a good one. Most of the regular Americans I know live in slums. It's like we're cattle kept around to buy cheap products made in someone else's country to make someone else rich. That ain't America. Not to me, anyways. So I fought back. Built an underground HQ, gathered an army of true Americans, and gave 'em hell.
But you'll hear all about that later. Like I said, the best way I could think of to stop the future, is to go back and tell everybody about what's coming if we don't act. So I look through the news reports of the past and what do I find? There's no real leadership for Americans. Oh they had a president. But he was a guy that probably had sex dreams about what he was going to do to the Constitution. Like I said, no leadership. Except maybe for Bill O'Reilly and Sarah Palin. I knew then that if we're going to avoid this life of hurt, dictatorship, and socialized healthcare that I've personally seen, people needed to get energized. That's why I've written a series of books about the wars I've fought. Well it's my story only it ain't me doing the writing. English has never been my thing, so I needed a writer, someone to...y'know, put the words together and shit.
So get this. I dig around and find out that there's a guy who back in 2013 tried to use the name "Jake Timber" as his name for a book. Said so on his Facebook page. He's a wuss named Jon Nichols (apparently he becomes some kinda big writer in the future. Only God knows why.) You know the type. Eats sushi, drinks lattes, voted for Obama, reads books, and damn is he ugly. I knew right then he was my guy. Easy to push around, y'know? I just needed to get to Indiana in 2013.
So when I got there, I set up shop in countryside, about five miles outside of town he lives in. Wasn't hard. I'm an expert survivalist. My new home away from home looked sorta like this:
Anyone who's a good prepper could do it. And if you can't? Shame on you. You're not ready for what's coming next, I guarantee. Yeah, yeah, there's no TV and that's kinda the point. The guvmint is rotting your brain ON PURPOSE to make you dumber and easier to control. Damn, buncha sheep.
So I staked out Nichols' house and then climbed into the trunk of his car. I sat in there eating a sandwich (roast beef with mayo) until the car parked and I knew he was gone. I got out and found myself on a college campus. You know, where they never give you any real life skills, just read books? I left a note on his windshield, asking him to meet me at McDonald's.
You'll find out how that went next time...
Follow me on Twitter @JakeTimber3
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